By Sky Hsu, Class of 2026
There is a lot of conflicting advice out there about how to parent teenagers. For this month’s high school takeover of The Messenger, I thought it would be interesting to go straight to the source and ask two of my classmates: “What insight can you share with parents of teens?” These were the key takeaways from our conversations:
Work on That Connection
“First of all,” said one 11th grader, “each parent knows their child best as an individual.” So, looking to external sources may not be as useful as just talking it out with your kid. If there is conflict, she says, “work on building that connection,” even if it seems like they don’t want you to. Truly understanding where your kid is coming from can make a huge difference in how they respond to or collaborate with you.
Nudging, not Nagging
“Encourage your kids to do the things that seem difficult and help them find a way to enjoy it,” advised my classmate. For students, juggling friendships, academics, extracurricular activities, and personal growth can feel overwhelming. Yet both classmates I interviewed emphasized that they appreciated the support of a tactful push from their parents. When done thoughtfully, it can be the support needed to help teens reach their fullest potential.
Four Magic Words
When asked about the ideal parenting approach, another 11th grader said, “Four words: watch from a distance.” But, he clarified, this doesn’t mean withdrawing all support. Instead, it’s about becoming a safety net. “The school we go to is the perfect opportunity for students to figure out time management, their work ethic…what it means to be a functioning human being, all on their own,” he continued, “It’s not too intensive and it helps them create it by themselves, for themselves.” Allowing your teen to explore and develop independence can be the most valuable gift you give them.
To Rising High Schoolers
When asked what they’d tell their freshman-year selves, both of my classmates simply wished they’d known that everything would work out. One said, “It’s a little scary not to have things planned out all the time, or not to know how things are gonna go, but it’s OK. You’ll be fine.”
